Musk says he went 'too far' as wimpy billionaire begs Trump to rekindle bromance | Opinion – USA Today
It didn’t take long for billionaire soy boy Elon Musk to start groveling at the feet of President Donald Trump.
The seemingly inseparable pro-tyranny twins had a very public breakup recently. But on June 11, Musk issued the following weak-kneed, beta-male statement on social media: “I regret some of my posts about President @realDonaldTrump last week. They went too far.”
The world’s richest suck-up didn’t specify which of his posts went too far. Was it the one hoping Trump gets impeached so Vice President JD Vance can take over? The one about Trump’s tariffs leading to a recession? Or maybe it was the one where you suggested the administration is covering up Trump’s connection to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein?
That’s a lot of “Oops!” to choose from, and Musk’s vague regret made the whole thing sound, at the risk of offending the pro-Musk macho men of the man-o-sphere, kinda weak.
You see, guys like Musk and Trump have long painted themselves as tough, despite all available evidence to the contrary.
Errol Musk, the Tesla CEO’s father, said of the Trump/Musk feud: “Things have gone over the top, but this is the situation when alphas fight it out.”
Last September, Musk shared a post on X claiming the best thinkers are “high T alpha males” and stating: “This is why a Republic of high status males is best for decision making.”
As the head of the U.S. Department of Government Efficiency, Musk equated himself to “The Godfather,” parading around in a “Dogefather” shirt.
Musk posted toughly in February that journalists from “60 Minutes” deserve “a long prison sentence.”
Tough talk, right? Tough guy then, I suppose.
Or not.
Musk reared up and attacked President Trump – a man so weak that Wall Street traders use the term “TACO,” for Trump Always Chickens Out – and little more than a week, Musk is backpedaling.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from reading manly posts by insecure, poorly adjusted dudes on the internet, it’s that alpha males don’t backpedal.
What are you going to do next to get back in Trump’s good graces, Elon? Offer to toss a baton and dance in the military parade our totally-secure-in-his-masculinity president is throwing for his birthday in a few days?
Are you going to offer to buy back the Tesla he bought from you at more than the retail price?
Maybe name a rocket after him? (On second thought, don’t do that. It would probably explode and then you’d have some SERIOUS groveling to do.)
The bottom line is that “I regret some of my posts” ain’t gonna cut it, you little snowflake. You’re going to have to emasculate yourself way more than that if you want to win your way back into the heart of a guy so faux-tough he sent the U.S. Marines to Los Angeles to battle a relatively small number of largely peaceful protesters.
Fake toughness demands exaggerated weakness. Cry more, Elon. I know you’ve got it in you.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
